Sweet, yet sugar-free. Most of the time. Okay, some of the time. Maybe. On a good day.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Trip to the ER
Today was a first for me - my first ever trip to the ER. I had been experiencing chest pains since Thursday, and the stabbing pains were only getting worse. After only getting 2 hours of sleep last night because of the pain, I finally gave in and decided to drive over.
What exactly qualifies as an ER-worthy condition, anyway? I spent the entire 4 hours there feeling guilty for bothering them. I felt like they thought I was faking, or seeking attention. I mean, who has heart-related chest pains at age 26, anyway? I know I must've sounded nuts, but I figured chest pains weren't something to take lightly. And yet I still felt guilty for being there.
Well, the chest x-rays and EKG turned out normal, so the doctor threw around a bunch of big words as to possible causes, none of which were "fatal": costochondritis, pleurisy, and pericarditis, just to name a few. In the end, I don't think he really knew exactly what the problem was, just that "rest and elevation" should help it go away. He didn't seem too worried about it. So I figured I shouldn't be either.
That is, until I overheard what was going on in the partition next to me (the ER's "rooms" are just spaces marked off by curtains, so it was kinda hard not to). Anyway, this woman was describing symptoms IDENTICAL to mine: sharp stabbing chest pain the size of a golf-ball, spreading up into the left jaw, and worse when laying down. There must've been 4 different nurses/doctors in there getting her comfortable and helping her, getting an IV into her, getting the pain to stop immediately. Meanwhile, I've been laying on a gurney on the other side of the curtain in my lame robe for what seemed like an hour, listening to all this (thinking they had forgotten about me, too). The difference? She was 50-years-old with a prior heart attack, whereas I'm 26, and well, no prior history of anything.... But a "history" has to start SOMEwhere, right? After hearing that, I was no longer feeling as good about my pat on the back and "take two of these and call me in the morning" advice.....
My weight has been at one extreme or another during my adult life. One year I’m “normal” (around 160 at one point), and the next year I’m morbidly obese (up to 255 once), all due to my problem with binge eating. Such a difficult admission, but there you have it. This year, I’m almost 250 lbs again, and I’ve got to turn it around. I just can’t live knowing that I'm encroaching on other people's space on plane rides or in packed movie theatres, knowing that I avoid social situations ‘cause I’m so embarrassed about my weight. I know all too painfully that I’m literally missing out on my life. I have to deal with the out-of-control eating and emotional issues I have with food to break the cycle. So on April 5th, 2008, I started Weight Watchers. I’ll keep you posted.
Other than that, I’m a teacher at an inner city school, and I absolutely adore my job. I’m a football fanatic, and just love watching sports in general. I just started training again for 5Ks (which I used to do prior to my latest cycle of weight gain). And I also have a fat cat. Her name's Fergie (named after the Duchess - NOT the Pea). She's dieting with me this year. She's not taking it well.