Christmas 2005 Success

Sweet potatoes. Pumpkin pie. Oyster stuffing. Dumplings. Glazed ham. Gravy. Chex mix. Mashed potatoes. Lasagna. Garlic bread. Strawberry cake. I managed to eat it all AND come back from our week-long holiday road trip a pound lighter! I lost a pound over Christmas!! How'd I do it? I cut back on food all week, especially since I wasn't exercising while on the road, and then let myself go at my husband's family's Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners. I told myself that those were free days, and that I would be all right if I got back on track the day after Christmas. My husband held me to it, and coming back to a friendly bathroom scale was the best Christmas present ever. Or at least a close second, next to having my husband home for the holidays (he's military).
So, now that I don't have to spend the first two weeks of the new year taking off last-minute holiday weight-gain, I get to have a running start in 2006 at my lowest weight ever. 81 pounds down, and only 24 to go. This will be the year I make goal!
This picture was taken by our Christmas tree, just before we left on our holiday road trip. I'm showing off my brand new kitty slippers, as well as an old sweatshirt that used to be way too tight for me. Here's to more continued success in 2006!

When Toothpaste Isn't Toothpaste

I understand that some companies have to make certain visual analogies in their TV ads in order to demonstrate how their products work. The maxi pad industry pours blue water to show absorbency rates. Baby diapers do the same thing. Denture companies use dentures that in no way resemble the ones I've seen my grandparents run through the dishwasher. And toilet paper companies are no different - they want to advertise their product and its effectiveness without being too graphic. Unfortunately, Charmin has crossed the line in my book.

Their latest commercial, complete with cute dancing cartoon bears, has completely ruined toothpaste for me. At one point in the commercial, they squeeze toothpaste on the back of a human hand, and then show how well it wipes off with Charmin toilet paper. I guess at this point, everyone out in TV land is then supposed to conclude that the toothpaste represents someone's crap, and it's smeared on the back of a hand that's really just a stand-in for someone's backside. The result is that the past few days I've been reminded of human feces whenever I squeeze that tube of toothpaste onto my toothbrush. Was equating toothpaste, something we all have to use to clean our mouths with, to human fecal matter really necessary to sell toilet paper? Are their sales really doing that badly? Maybe if they'd make it so that 2 sheets don't clog up my toilet.... maybe that'd boost their sales.

Anyway, while we're at it, let's start using Twinkies to represent tampons, or your favorite lotion to graphically show the effectiveness of a certain brand of condom. I'm sure Twinkies would suddenly become less appetizing (if they ever were), and it'd probably make you think twice the next time you go to smear lotion all over your body. And now thanks to Charmin, I connect toothpaste and brushing my teeth with poop and wiping. It really gives their old slogan "Please don't squeeze the Charmin" a whole new meaning. THANK YOU, CHARMIN!

Trip to the ER

Today was a first for me - my first ever trip to the ER. I had been experiencing chest pains since Thursday, and the stabbing pains were only getting worse. After only getting 2 hours of sleep last night because of the pain, I finally gave in and decided to drive over.

What exactly qualifies as an ER-worthy condition, anyway? I spent the entire 4 hours there feeling guilty for bothering them. I felt like they thought I was faking, or seeking attention. I mean, who has heart-related chest pains at age 26, anyway? I know I must've sounded nuts, but I figured chest pains weren't something to take lightly. And yet I still felt guilty for being there.

Well, the chest x-rays and EKG turned out normal, so the doctor threw around a bunch of big words as to possible causes, none of which were "fatal": costochondritis, pleurisy, and pericarditis, just to name a few. In the end, I don't think he really knew exactly what the problem was, just that "rest and elevation" should help it go away. He didn't seem too worried about it. So I figured I shouldn't be either.

That is, until I overheard what was going on in the partition next to me (the ER's "rooms" are just spaces marked off by curtains, so it was kinda hard not to). Anyway, this woman was describing symptoms IDENTICAL to mine: sharp stabbing chest pain the size of a golf-ball, spreading up into the left jaw, and worse when laying down. There must've been 4 different nurses/doctors in there getting her comfortable and helping her, getting an IV into her, getting the pain to stop immediately. Meanwhile, I've been laying on a gurney on the other side of the curtain in my lame robe for what seemed like an hour, listening to all this (thinking they had forgotten about me, too). The difference? She was 50-years-old with a prior heart attack, whereas I'm 26, and well, no prior history of anything.... But a "history" has to start SOMEwhere, right? After hearing that, I was no longer feeling as good about my pat on the back and "take two of these and call me in the morning" advice.....

Coffee-holics Vindicated!

So the big news is that coffee is okay again. A new study claims that it doesn't lead to long-term high blood pressure problems in women. Whoo-hoo!! Good thing, too, 'cause I wasn't about to give up my weekly runs to Dunkin' Donuts for an extra-large caramel-marshmallow coffee w/ cream (My favorite! And sugarless, of course). The study also compared women who drank coffee to those who drank sodas, finding that women who drank pop (er, soda), actually showed increased risk for high blood pressure.

By the way, my runs to DD would be daily, rather than weekly, were it not for the fact that they're so few and far between here in the South!!! I swear, a DD on every street corner (sometimes two on same said corner) is one of the only things I miss from my life in New York.

Let The Holiday Rebellion Begin

I think I'm going to actually going to try this, just to see the look on the kids' and parents' faces. Yes, that would be fun. Priceless.

Every year, I manage to gain weight over the holidays, starting with all those sale-priced bags of candy at Halloween. Then along comes Thanksgiving, and with it the pressure of not offending whatever family member who's hosting this annual stuff-your-face fest by stuffing my face, even when I don't want to. From there, it's a never-ending stream of homemade candies and cookies brought into the office everyday until Christmas. Seems like EVERYone's got their own candy dish on their desk or counter during this time of year. It's no wonder that weight gain is so inevitable in the coming months.

Well, not this time. I refuse to be pressured into being fat again. If refusing food when offered offends someone, well, so be it. They're not the ones with the crappy metabolism. They're not the ones who are going to gain 20 pounds the instant they start scarfing down fruit cake and pumpkin pie. They aren't going to be paying for my new wardrobe when nothing fits anymore. And they certainly aren't going to be suffering at the gym at the start of the New Year to get all those cookies and munchies back off their hips. Guilt-tripping me to eat during this time of year ("Oh, come on, it's Christmas." Or, "It's just a bite.") is just cruel, when you stop and think about it. No one would shove alcohol in the face of a recovering alcoholic. Can you imagine? And then guilt-trip them when they refuse? So why do it to people who are desperately struggling to keep their weight in check??

I am so proud to say that I am finally at my lowest weight since HIGH SCHOOL. After a LOT of hard work this year, I have lost over 45 pounds since May. And I refuse to let this hedonistic American tradition of holiday gluttony rob me of the payoff for all my hard work. So, Aunt Jane, unless you're gonna gain the weight FOR me, I will NOT eat your sweet potatoes this year, just to avoid hurting your feelings!!!

Another Item Crossed Off My Life's To-Do List

Today, I did something I never thought I'd do. A few years ago and 70+ pounds heavier, I never thought I'd be running my first 5K, but that's exactly what I did this morning. My goal was simple: to run it without stopping to walk. Not only did I reach my goal, I've been bitten by the 5K bug and can't wait to sign up for my next race to better my time.

It was really an inspirational day, seeing so many people there, lots of them with pink signs pinned to their backs with the name of a loved one who had either survived or succumbed to breast cancer. Feeling the emotional weight of the day was more than enough to lessen whatever "discomfort" (more like my lungs were on fire, and I was afraid of passing out and getting trampled by the masses) I might have been feeling. It was worth the experience, and I'm feeling great about myself for accomplishing my goal.

Funny side note, my husband completely missed me crossing the finish line. I ran passed him, waving, and I assumed he saw me, but apparently not. I had to go back and find him, standing right where I had passed him earlier, still looking for me. I like to think he missed me because I was just that fast (although with a time of 36:20min, I know that's not exactly true. I think it was the pigtails that threw him off). His response when he realized I was already done and waiting: "I was gonna say, I was starting to wonder when people were finishing by walking...." Well done. I'd find another photographer, but this one's price was right. And I did make him wake up at 5:30a this morning on his day off after a long, long week of work.... Poor thing.... I still love him :)

M.I.A.

I like to think I'm a good person. I try to be, at least. I pay taxes. I go to church. I don't litter. I use my turning signal. And when I get a new phone number, I make every effort to notify every single person in my phonebook with my new contact information. I update my info with every business I deal with. I send out mass emails as a reminder of my new phone number. Sounds reasonable, right?

Apparently not every person out there is reasonable. One such unreasonable person used to have my phone number before I got it. And since I'm a nice person, I'll do the nice thing and protect her name, so we'll just call her Ms. M.I.A. I am absolutely floored by how she just up and left. After I got my new phone number a year ago August, I spent the first few weeks playing her personal secretary, informing every friend, family member, former co-worker, debt collector, and telemarketer that this was no longer her phone number. And people, please, if someone tells you that you've got the wrong number, just take their word for it. Don't call back 10 minutes later. Or the next day. Don't call back months later, either, because Ms. M.I.A. is STILL not at my phone number.

Christmastime last year was especially fun, when all the distant relatives came out of the woodwork making their annual phone calls. One woman called and gave this weird story about how everyone was looking for her. One of my favorite everyday hassles for a few weeks was from a company who kept calling and leaving voicemail messages, something about being interested in buying her timeshare. Now, if they're getting through to MY voicemail, and hearing MY name and MY voice on the voicemail greeting, wouldn't all these people get the hint that they've got the wrong number? You would think that. But apparently not. I even had some school in Georgia constantly calling me, leaving automated voice messages about (her?) kid who kept getting detention at school.

Well, the months flew by, and no phone calls for Ms. M.I.A. But just when I was starting to miss all the attention, yesterday I get a phone call from her doctor's office. I tell the lady that this is no longer her number. Pretty self-explanatory, right? Again, that would be way too easy. The same lady from the same office called AGAIN today asking for her. WHAT PART OF "THIS IS NOT HER NUMBER", DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! And then ANOTHER phone call for her later this afternoon. I'm sure the phone calls will only increase as the holidays get closer..... I don't know who I'm more annoyed with - Ms. M.I.A., or her fresh-off-the-turnip-truck friends, relatives, co-workers, etc....

And yes, everyone I've complained to says, "Why don't you just change your number?" Well, namely 'cause it's a pain in the butt, I've had it for awhile now, and I keep hanging onto a small shred of hope that after a year these people will finally get a clue. Eh, maybe not.

So I think I've finally decided to start calling these people back, and asking them for some random person. I'll just make up a name, and start calling for that person. Over, and over again. I'll get the number off the Caller ID, and just start calling them back in 10 minute intervals. Then I'll call back the next day, just to make sure that the fictious person I ask for STILL isn't there. Yes, that would be fun.

That's my rant for the day.

Just Warmin' Up

So this is my blog. Pathetic, isn't it? I doubt this will ever be an active site, but rather a place for me to vent once in awhile. Speaking of venting, I'm planning my next post to be a lengthy verbal rant on those go-cart/Little-Rascal-thingies that I'm always getting either run over by or stuck behind in a narrow aisle at the local Wal-Mart SuperCenter. I used to think the people that rode them had actual disabilities, and so I didn't mind getting accidentally run down once in awhile. That is until I recently discovered those scooters are actually provided by the store so that ANYone who doesn't feel like walking, indeed, doesn't have to. And yet, have you noticed that those are usually the very people who need the exercise the most?

Well anyway, that post will have to wait. Until then, just say no to bread. Unless you eventually want to end up on a scooter....when you should be walking.

Hello, World

Well, this is me. Mrs. B.