Sweet, yet sugar-free. Most of the time. Okay, some of the time. Maybe. On a good day.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Something In Common
I've finally found someone who embodies exactly who I am when it comes to my struggle with food. I have found it so completely impossible to explain to my closest family and friends what it's like to go from being on top of the world in terms of fitness and eating well to the deepest pit of laziness and over-eating. Kirstie Alley. One Hollywood minute she's a gorgeous full-figured model, strutting her bikini-ready body on Oprah. The next, she's the poster-child of obesity, a perfect example of self-destructive eating patterns and letting oneself go. Finally, I have someone to point to who can explain, on my behalf, just what it's like to be me any given day. It explains why I'm 225 lbs at the family Christmas party one year, and then down to 175lbs the following family reunion on the Fourth of July. There have been some family gatherings where I'm afraid that people think I'm pregnant, simply because I've packed on so much weight in so little time. This is me. I'm a non-famous Kirstie Alley. One day I'm huge. Depressed. Eating everything in sight. Ashamed to be seen in public. A hermit. The next day I'm on top of the world. Eating low-carb, fresh-everything. Running 5Ks triumphantly. Feeling great and loving the new wardrobe. That's exactly where I am right now. Back on the wagon, but always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My weight has been at one extreme or another during my adult life. One year I’m “normal” (around 160 at one point), and the next year I’m morbidly obese (up to 255 once), all due to my problem with binge eating. Such a difficult admission, but there you have it. This year, I’m almost 250 lbs again, and I’ve got to turn it around. I just can’t live knowing that I'm encroaching on other people's space on plane rides or in packed movie theatres, knowing that I avoid social situations ‘cause I’m so embarrassed about my weight. I know all too painfully that I’m literally missing out on my life. I have to deal with the out-of-control eating and emotional issues I have with food to break the cycle. So on April 5th, 2008, I started Weight Watchers. I’ll keep you posted.
Other than that, I’m a teacher at an inner city school, and I absolutely adore my job. I’m a football fanatic, and just love watching sports in general. I just started training again for 5Ks (which I used to do prior to my latest cycle of weight gain). And I also have a fat cat. Her name's Fergie (named after the Duchess - NOT the Pea). She's dieting with me this year. She's not taking it well.