Sweet, yet sugar-free. Most of the time. Okay, some of the time. Maybe. On a good day.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Back In The Saddle Again
And the lifelong battle continues. It's so frustrating to be sooooo close to my ultimate goal weight, only to sabotage myself and balloon back up to near-obesity. But I'm staying positive. It's still very much possible to do it this year. I can lose these last 30 pounds by Christmas, if can I just stop screwing around. I haven't been full-out binging, just making poor choices and not exercising as much as I should. And when I do get to the gym, I'm not really pushing myself to try to improve. Basically, I've just been complacent, not really gaining much, but not losing, either. I'm just in limbo.
The good news is that even though I gained some weight back (about 15 lbs), it's not as much as the last time this happened, or the time before that..... or the time before that. I jumped back up to only 184 this time (just under my obesity-level). Last time it was 208 before I turned it around. So again, I'm just trying to stay positive: I caught myself before I even crossed into official obesity-land, and I've only got a little more than 30 pounds to reach goal. And overall, I've still lost almost 75 lbs from my highest weight. Not too shabby!
So to kick-start my comeback, I'm going to be signing up for my area's 4th of July 5K. I'd like to do a personal best, but I'm not sure if I can get in good enough shape by then. Either way, it's something to work toward.
About this picture, my husband and I just got back from a trip to Savannah, Georgia. The ONLY reason we came back was because we can't exactly afford a 5-10 million dollar home in the historic district, like the one in the background. By the way, that's the Mercer Williams House, made famous by the book and movie "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil". Savannah was one of the most romantic places I've ever been, and I'm so fortunate to be able to cross it off my life's to-do list.
My weight has been at one extreme or another during my adult life. One year I’m “normal” (around 160 at one point), and the next year I’m morbidly obese (up to 255 once), all due to my problem with binge eating. Such a difficult admission, but there you have it. This year, I’m almost 250 lbs again, and I’ve got to turn it around. I just can’t live knowing that I'm encroaching on other people's space on plane rides or in packed movie theatres, knowing that I avoid social situations ‘cause I’m so embarrassed about my weight. I know all too painfully that I’m literally missing out on my life. I have to deal with the out-of-control eating and emotional issues I have with food to break the cycle. So on April 5th, 2008, I started Weight Watchers. I’ll keep you posted.
Other than that, I’m a teacher at an inner city school, and I absolutely adore my job. I’m a football fanatic, and just love watching sports in general. I just started training again for 5Ks (which I used to do prior to my latest cycle of weight gain). And I also have a fat cat. Her name's Fergie (named after the Duchess - NOT the Pea). She's dieting with me this year. She's not taking it well.